Retrospective: living without privacy spanning three decades.

It is hard to explain to any casual observer what it feels like to have no privacy for nearly one third of a persons life. I have not had privacy since at least 1998, and definitely since 2001.

At first, they came for my case files, from a painful period in my life where their system was defeated soundly  by all applicable laws. Then, they came for my job, and my writings–at all times they target my writings.

Then, they came for my computers, and eventually, for my mind–the seat of my sanity.

Yes–this is coded speech–as their actions are coded as well. Everything they do has a covert intent to force me to decode meaning–to look for the hidden meaning in what they perpetrate upon me.

But–privacy: the average person has some obscure ‘right’ to it. with privacy, a person can develop their life, and work towards their personal goals, while allowing for slip-ups and re-working their timelines, or their trajectory towards their goals, UNINHIBITED by obstruction.

I have not had that for decades, as my life, my homes, my schooling, my emails, my associations, etc. have been fully and completely violated for decades. 

They have stolen whole email accounts–email accounts that roted me to my peers, or my associates; email accounts that documented my intentions in life, and anchored my self esteem in my friendships.

They have stolen my writings–my poems, my plays, my unfinished novels; they have stolen my documentation of their thefts! AND, worst of all, they have never ever, never presented me with a legal document excusing or enabling them to do so.

It is as if a portion of a private army were actively waging war on my ability to progress forwards in life–as if I have been denied Constitutional rights, due process, and even been priorly restrained from publishing my very thoughts!

So, no surprise now, as we see that Edward Snowden has heroically revealed that these things I say to be true are indeed true–that after decades of feeling as if it were “in my head” I now know that someone else knows–the whole world knows! That what I said they do, they do indeed do. 

What is right–what is wrong? when Every single tenet of what we are taught is right is suddenly so wrong? 

I have not had a moment in the last decade for sure when I was not surveilled, wiretapped, enduring break-ins to my homes, being tasered by strangers at night, or otherwise been under the daily stress of ‘not knowing’–and now, I KNOW, and so do others. AND we have had to put our lives and safety at risk to reveal such information, because everyone one else is ‘just glad it isn’t them’ being tortured in such a manner.

And that is just the tip of a very large ICE-breaker indeed.


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